So as many of you know and some might not, I am now going on two months of benig divorced. Yesterday marked the special occasion. As I celebrated by going to church, singing along with the choir and then spending a very relaxing day around the house with Rashael and Addie. Kelly came to visit and we just had girl time. It was nice. Do I miss having that someone to snuggle with at night or tell my thoughts to? Sometimes, but honestly I cant say I miss the pain I went through. I did love him with all I had, but that wasnt enough. Deep down he just wasnt happy and that drug me along. So I did what any respectable lady would do, I packed my crap and walked away. I let him live the life he wants to live without me having to be a worry of his. He didnt seem to put up much fight which in turn told me he really wanted this.
I have went a week and half and only spoken to him once. We have been seperated for two months shy of a year. WOW. Time flies. And in this year I have actually learned a lot about myself. I can handle pretty much anything thrown at me and I can handle it alone. I got divorced alone, I moved on alone, I lay my head down alone at night... I can do all things alone as long as I have strength and courage. I have reached the point where I no longer walk on egg shells and can speak my mind. Many of you know I never had the problem, but behind closed doors I let him walk over me. He might say the same about me. So which of us is really correct. I guess it all depends on the perspective you approach it from. I
think, no I know we are better off. We cant even be friends without arguing and wondering why the other doesnt call the other or why we dont include each other in what we do. So I took the higher road and just stopped all communication. He might get mad and tell me I like drama, which by the way hurt my feelings a lot. ALL of you know that I am the last person to attach to drama. I have lost and walked away from many of friends due to drama and tried my hardest to block it out. If that is the way he thinks, then so be it. I cant change his mind, but more than likey it is his defenses picking up and attaching me just like he use to do in our marriage.
I have been hanging out with some people more than others and really do enjoy their company but its about time to be open and upfront about everything. I would like to spend time with someone without them being worried that someone might see us or that my ex might get mad. He has no right to get mad, since he has decided to take up residence with another women.
So, as the song goes; I am Ready To Love Again. I have been out of love for years now and just fooling myself to thinking I could get this man to fall for me again. HA! No way. I am glad I saw the error of my ways and backed away.
You might think this is a sad blog, but not really. I am in a very good mood and ready to face what God has in store for me. Good things are to come!!!
Much Love!!!
